MEN USURPING CHRIST & WOMEN USURPING THEIR HUSBANDS 

Shared here for your consideration.

Written by Jayson Pagan – Pastor / Salina, Ks

The wife being under the headship of her husband is NOT a result of the curse. This is a gross misunderstanding. 


The man was not made for the woman, but the woman was made for the man.  That’s headship.  

The woman came out of the man. That’s headship.  

The woman was brought to the man.  That’s headship. 

The woman was named by the man. That’s headship.  

Women feel attacked and victimized when you discuss these issues.  That reason is many, but why should anyone feel attacked when a biblical definition and understanding is being clarified? 

The same reason that angry men get upset when we address anger biblically.  The same reason liars and the immoral get upset when those things are addressed biblically. 

We live in a world full of usurping women. Women who decide to act in their own wisdom and to forego the governing rulership of their husbands. 

After the fall, in clarifying the curse and consequence of the fallen state, God told Eve, “Your desire shall be  

to thy husband.”   This word “desire” is speaking of anger and resentment (of male headship).  This literally means, “You will resent and be angered by the headship of your husband, but he will rule over you.”

My wife is AMAZING!  

She has insights, ideas, opinions and intuition that take the bare bones of anything I am working on and make it better, more refined, dynamic, and more beautiful and functional. She beautifies everything she touches! She takes anything I give her and makes it better.  And it is very easy for her to act on her own, think she is better, and that her ideas, rather than being complementary, are primary and superior. 

Jesus Christ is not her head – I am.  

She knows this. 

When it comes to governing my family, my wife is an indirect recipient of the Word. She knows she is the resource, not the source or originator. She gives the commands after she gets them from me.  She is the receiver, I am the giver.  She is the encourager, I am the protector. She is a nurturer, I am the developer. She is the prophetess, I am the teacher. 


The word “rule” is to “govern or reign over”.  To initiate. The commencer.  

I agree that headship is misunderstood! 

Headship is a responsibility, not a control. It’s an order, not a demand. It’s relational, not mechanical. The first Adam was in God’s presence, knew who he was, was under God’s headship, and was a provider, a cultivator, a protector, a priest, and a prophet. 


Only a man like the first Adam will be relationally in synch to function in godly headship without the fallen perversion of using it for control, demands, and to be a tyrant. Headship is exampled by Christ and is manifested in a loving relationship that is responsible and caring while governing and guiding. 

The problem is, if you believe headship was part of the curse and that the curse was done away with in Christ, then so should thorns and thistles and arduous work for men. The curse was not done away with in Christ, nor is headship part of that curse. 

Genesis 2 is clear that headship precedes the fall and the curse is that the fallen woman would resent that headship and resist submission, and within every woman is the desire to usurp authority when she, in fact, was made for the man, the man was not made for her.  

A woman is a “hu(man) with a womb”.  

There is a purpose she was created and it was not to be the same as a man!  She is a magnificent multi-tool made by God for the sole purpose of incubating the work Adam was called to do. She is a helper to the man.   

She is a nurturer, an encourager, and a vital and intimate essential part of the whole work of the man, and without her, the integrity of the marriage and the family is compromised!!  

If Satan can get a woman to usurp her husband by incubating her own thing, think she is better than her husband, more gifted than her husband, operate in her own wisdom she sidelines her God-given creative role, then the integrity of the family is compromised while she glories in her false position, newfound liberty, and feeling of being “right”. 



The foolish woman in Proverbs pulls her own house down on her head!  She doesn’t know how to hone her giftings and tune them into her creative purpose. She doesn’t look at herself as a gift to build up, increase, edify, incubate, and launch her husband and her children.  

If the husband doesn’t have the identity and security to stay the course and maintain his own identity, the consequences are sad. 

Her husband becomes passive. 

He becomes frustrated. 

He shuts down. 

Her children are left to the care of a single-parent home because the true government of the husband is forfeited, even if he is physically present. 

The church is full of usurping women (operating apart from their husbands because they think their way is better). 

The church is full of usurping men (operating apart from Christ because they think their way is better). 

We need a revival of headship.  

God is the head of Christ. 

Christ is the head of the man. 

Man is the head of the woman. 

Christ is provider, protector, priest, and prophet. The church (bride of Christ) incubates his work and causes it to come alive and go forward in the earth. 

The husband must be a provider, protector, priest, and prophet.  The wife incubates his work and causes it to come alive and go forward in the home. 

Within the New Testament church (not Old Testament, including Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) you will find many women ministering and operating in giftings alongside their husbands.  This order is even a requirement for church overseers: he (the man) must prove that he can rule his house well, or how can he rule (not the wife) the house of God?  


Headship doesn’t ever disappear. It’s godly order. It’s beautiful. When you see it’s proper place, submission isn’t resented but appreciated. It’s liberating.  It propels the work of God as a whole forward. Women see their true value, the deep need for mothering and keeping the home, training and investing selflessly into the next generation’s lives.

Now… having said all that.

The Bride of Christ, the church, MUST NOT do her own thing, manifest her own ideas, design her own methods, and initiate her own programs. This is an unsubmitted bride.

The church came out of Christ. That’s headship.

The church was made for Christ. That’s headship.

The church was named by Christ. That’s headship.

The church was brought to Christ. That’s headship.

The church is an incubator. A multi tool. A resource. A receiver.

The church cannot use her giftings, abilities, and functions to do her own thing.

Just as an unsubmitted wife has a form of marriage but denies the power of it’s true function and institution, the unsubmitted church has a form of godliness but denies the power of it’s true function.

The bride has giftings of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher. 

She has been given access to gifts and fruit of the Spirit. She has multi-tool and multi-functional abilities, all of which came out of Christ in order to use them for the work and kingdom of that same Christ, her bridegroom. 

She has been given examples of strategy and God-instructed design and operation. 

It is an operation of perversion to redefine these things, repurpose them, ignore them, or use them for other than the prescribed function.